dangerous game
by tatty ted
Summary: It's been eight months since her mother died and Lauren's spiralled out of control ever since. With no contact with her father or younger brother, she sells her body for heroin. Then a beating from her pimp lands her in Holby City Hospital and the chance encounter with a female Doctor ensures that Lauren may just break free from her life. - —OC. /Series 19.
1. CHAPTER I

**notes** — mentions of prostitution, sex and drug use.

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**dangerous game**  
_love in the 90's is paranoid._

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She doesn't know how she became this person, the one who fights and steals her way to a fix. The person her parents would be disappointed in, the one they'd hate especially her mother, all she ever had was dreams for her only daughter.

She's only young, barely eighteen, still a child. She's lost the only person she was ever close to and she doesn't know how to deal with the emotions. She's never had to deal with grief before so she blocks it out through alcohol, sex, drugs and self-hatred.

It's the only way, smoking till she sees pretty-little-patterns, knowing that everyone will hate her for falling down this path of self-destruction but she doesn't know what else to do. She misses the girl she used to be, the teenager her parents were proud of her.

You know the one, the girl who never uttered a bad word. The one who went to school, got good grades, looked after her younger brother. That girl no longer exists, she's been replaced by a self-centred, self-obsessed, self-hated teenager girl who always wants to inject poison in her veins.

She sits in an alley, back against the wall throwing up. She wipes her mouth on the back of her hand, catching sight of the scars that litter her arms and her legs. Pretty silver scars that she hates and yet loves at the same time, (it's fucked-up.)

She's too skinny, cheekbones showing, hair thin and limp. Her body is a mess compared to what she used to be. She used to look so pretty, so perfect. Curves, eyes that sparkled, a great cheekbone structure, hair that all the girls envied.

She didn't realise back then, this is where she'd end up. Selling her body for her next fix and rent money, injecting and smoking heroin, being beaten up by her pimp. There was only one person who could save her, save little Lauren but she was buried six-feet-under.

So this is where she ends up. In the shit.

She's a prostitute, a whore. That's the worst part of it, being sold by her pimp to men for the highest price. She's met friends in the business but none ever last long. She knows what happens when they try to leave, (slit throat, buried because no-one's gonna miss a whore)

She just stays, hopes someone will rescue her. Maybe just maybe, one of her clients will see her true potential to become a girlfriend, a wife and rescue her. She knows it's ridiculous to hope, to dream but it's the only thing she focuses on when she's jacking them off.

Sometimes she doesn't do as she's told, sometimes she's too fiesty for their liking and she gets a black eye and a split lip for being a cocky bitch. She prefers that then the alternative, being shagged to the point she bleeds for hours.

To numb herself, she takes herself to the bathroom with a needle and a small wrap in hand. She injects into her vein, needing the feeling of relief that washes over her body once she's done.

She's a drugged up, drunk, cheap whore and she knows the only person who'll save her is herself. But she doesn't want to become like all those other whores, buried in some shallow grave because they believed they were better, believed they deserved to doing something worthwhile.

/

She's sat on the edge of the road, throwing up in a gutter. Her friend, a former prostitute is holding her hair back. When she's finished she wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, her friend letting go off her hair.

She tucks a strand behind her ear as her friend says softly, "I'm taking you to hospital."

She shakes her head as she stands up. Her friend keeps hold of her arm, knowing her friend needs medical attention, "Lauren, you're sick! You've not been right since Damian gave you that beating, you need looking at."

Lauren pulled her arm free from her grip and wobbled a bit, "Why did I get a fucking beating? Because I didn't earn enough. I need to be out here, on the streets, not in some poxy hospital because you're concerned about me."

She refused to go to hospital even though she kept being sick. Eventually, Chloe told her she was going to the hospital, whether she liked it or not. All the way there, Lauren was swearing and screaming she was going to batter Chloe.

She knew her friend would thank her later when she came down from the heroin.

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	2. CHAPTER II

ϟ

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**CHAPTER TWO**.  
_you'll be my wifey for lifey._

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They reach Holby Hospital and Lauren suddenly pulls away. Chloe looks at her friend who's got her head titled to the side and is staring at the sign. She doesn't say anything for a moment, she doesn't know what to say.

"Lauren?"

"I can't come here, really I can't." She goes to walk away but Chloe grabs hold off her arm. She keeps hold of it wondering what's stopping Lauren from going to the hospital and getting checked over, surely it was better to be safe than sorry?

"What's wrong?"

She shakes her head, stares at her friend in the eye and forces a smile. She tells herself as they step forwards that she'll be fine. Nobody will recognise her, as it's been almost a year since she was last here.

She brushed a strand of hair out of her face and they walked into the hospital. The sweet sickly smell hit her instantly and Lauren felt the butterflies in her stomach, she was beginning to feel sick again.

As they reached the reception desk, Chloe said gently; "My friend needs to see a Doctor urgently."

Lauren looked at the receptionist and a soft smile appeared upon her face. She knew the receptionist Rebecca or Bex she was called. It was a person Lauren used to be close too, before she fell down the path of self-destruction.

"Name?"

"Candace, Lauren." The two girls said something completely different and Bex looked between the two. Lauren stared at Chloe for a moment and smiled softly. She leant against the desk and answered;

"I'm Candace, she's Lauren. I'm presuming you were asking my name?"

Bex nodded and typed away at the computer, asking Lauren and Chloe a series of questions. It was only as they sat down at the back of the waiting room, Chloe whispered into Lauren's ear,

"Why did you lie about your name?"

"Because I did, now shut it!" Chloe sighed sharply but did what Lauren told her. Lauren began to feel sick again and she stood up. Before she could grab Chloe's arm, everything became distant and she fell forward, hitting the floor.

/

She blinked several times trying to adjust to the light. She was lying on a bed in a cubicle with Chloe sat beside her on one of the plastic chairs. She sat up and Chloe didn't say anything for a moment, she didn't know what to say.

"How are you feeling?"

"Rough." Lauren answered and began to laugh. As she did she clutched her side, realising that it was hurting, "Ooff, ouch."

There was a silence before Chloe decided to ask why she'd given a false name and address at reception. She only wanted the truth, she didn't believe there should be lies between friends.

Lauren sighed. She knew she wasn't going to get out of this one easily; "You want to know the truth? Fine! My father works here in the ED as a Nurse, I couldn't exactly give them my real name and address could I? I've been missing eight months."

Chloe shook her head but didn't say anything. It was all beginning to fit into place, the reluctance to go to hospital and giving a false name. She sighed sadly, she wished Lauren would find the strength to leave the streets but she knew it was impossible.

Damian had her under his control.

The curtain opened and a female Doctor stepped in. Even before she opened her mouth, Lauren knew exactly who she was. Selena Donovan, they'd last met when Lauren was seventeen years old and had, once again, ended up as a patient.

"Hello I'm Doctor Donovan, how are you feeling?"

Lauren gestured to Chloe, "Like I said to her, I'm feeling rough. When can I go home?"

"You can go home when we've found out what's wrong with you."

Lauren sighed. She knew it meant sitting around on her arse waiting for useless xrays and blood tests and whatever else the Doctor's and Nurses insisted on giving her. She bit her lower lip hard, drawing blood.

"Your friend says you've been throwing up, is that right?"

Lauren nodded, "Yeah but not a lot. Just a couple of times a day, I'm fine."

"She's lying." A voice in the corner piped up and Lauren glanced uneasily at her friend wondering what the hell she was playing at, "She's sick all the time, it's got to be about every hour. Especially these last couple of days."

Lauren was about to answer something when a wave of sickness washed over her. She breathed deeply and whispered she was going to be sick. She threw up in a cardboard bowl, Chloe sat awkwardly at the end of the bed and rubbed her arm.

"What happened two days agp?"

Both girls looked at each other but didn't say anything. Selena knew they were hiding something, it was obvious through their body language. She'd come across enough people hiding secrets in her old job as a Police Surgeon.

"Food poisioning, beaten up." Again they'd both said different things and Chloe shifted uncomfortably in her seat. Lauren glared at her, silently threatening her that if she didn't keep her fucking gob shut, they'd be trouble.

Chloe wished Lauren could see she was only trying to help.

"Which one is it girls?"

There was an uncomfortable silence, "I ate something that didn't agree with me, didn't I Chloe?"

Chloe nodded and swallowed hard. She knew she was in for it when the Doctor left and decided this was her que to leave. As she stood up, she explained she was going to get a cup of tea and left the cubicle.

She wasn't planning on going back in a hurry, she knew she'd only get her head kicked in.

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	3. CHAPTER III

ϟ

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**CHAPTER THREE**.  
_shine bright like a diamond._

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An awkward silence fell upon Selena and Lauren as they were left alone.

"You're getting abdominal pains, right?"

Lauren nodded and Selena said she would examine her. She touched her stomach gently, near her belly button but it didn't hurt. She moved to the left hand side and Lauren took a deep breath, tears pooling in her eyes.

"Does that hurt?"

"Yeah." She whispered. Her whole body ached and she knew it was a mess, he didn't stop until you were black and blue. Selena gently rolled up her teeshirt and took a deep breath when she saw the large bruises covering Lauren's stomach.

"How did this happen?"

She shrugged, "I must've fallen down the stairs when I was drunk or something."

"In my experience people don't get injuries like this from falling down the stairs."

"Well it is, it's not uncommon you know." Lauren snapped. She knew she shouldn't bite Selena's head off, she was after all only doing her job. She felt angry, she could kill Chloe for this, this was all her stupid bloody idea.

"Your friend's right, you were beaten up. Who did it? Boyfriend? Husband?"

Lauren just stared at her wondering how long she could keep the secret. How long before someone found out what Damian did to her? She bit her lower lip and shook her head; "Nothing happened, nobody beat me up."

Selena sighed when she realised she wasn't going to get anything from the girl, "I'm going to do an ultrasound and take some bloods, make sure you haven't got an infection, is that okay?"

Lauren nodded and was relieved when the Doctor left. Alone again, she knew she needed to get out of here before she started getting questioned even more. She knew the police would turn up soon and she couldn't be dealing with them.

/

Lauren was knelt against the tiled floor, throwing up in the toilet again. She was surprised there was anything left in her stomach after being sick every half an hour. She flushed the chain and stood up, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

She stumbled towards the sinks and caught her reflection in the mirror. She was pale, a sickly white and she felt freezing cold. She ran the tap and cupped some water in her hands, splashing it on her face.

In doing so, she felt sick again and she turned off the tap, breathing deeply. She wanted the sickness to pass, she couldn't stomach being sick again. As she looked at her reflection once again, everything began to spin and she fell to the floor, hitting her head on the sink as she fell forward.

/

Chloe returned to the cubicle, a cup of tea in a plastic cup. She hated them from the machine but seeing as the cafe was shut for another hour, it would have to do. She opened the curtain to the cubicle to find it empty and frowned.

Looking around she saw the Doctor from earlier and walked towards her, "Excuse me, do you know where Lau—Candace is?"

Selena looked at the girl and knew she'd be the one to break easily and reveal all, "I think you need to tell me the truth."

Chloe sighed. She knew full well that Lauren would kill her if she discovered she'd been opening her mouth but Chloe couldn't stand back. She couldn't watch a bright, intelligent girl like Lauren become worthless and destructive.

She dropped the cup of tea and was about to leave when Selena's hand on her wrist stopped her.

"What are you both running from?"

There was a pause, a silence and Chloe sighed; "She's called Lauren, her father's a Nurse hence the false name. She's been missing from home for eight months, she works as a prostitute and she's on heroin. That's all I know I swear. Tell her I'm sorry, right?"

Chloe began to walk off. She breathed a sigh of relief knowing she did what was right, even if she betrayed her friend's trust. Sometimes it was needed, sometimes people needed to be saved from the lives they'd created for themselves.

/

She lay on the bathroom floor, her head hurting like no tomorrow and she touched it. Feeling something warm and sticky seep through her fingers, Lauren sighed knowing she'd probably hit her head when she fainted again.

She stood up, feeling sick and dizzy again and began to walk back to the cubicle. When she reached her cubicle, she noticed Chloe wasn't back yet and she wondered what was taking her so long. Lauren sat down on the bed, swinging her legs backwards and forwards.

Lauren took her hand away from her forehead and stared at the blood in the palm of her hand. She was smiling softly when the curtain opened and she looked up, her eyes falling upon Selena.

"What happened?"

Lauren sighed, "I went to the toilet and I fainted, again."

Selena exaimed the cut before telling her, "You'll need a couple of stitches in that."

Lauren nodded and nothing was spoken. Lauren continued to swing her legs, wanting to go home. She knew what would happen once she returned, she'd be beaten within an inch of her life when he discovered that someone knew about the beatings.

In his eyes, he couldn't lose his best working girl.

"Your friend told me everything. I can't help you unless you're honest with me." Lauren stared at Selena for a moment and bit her lip hard. She knew Selena wouldn't let this go and she was backed into a corner.

Could she really reveal the truth?

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	4. CHAPTER IV

ϟ

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**CHAPTER FOUR**.  
_but your biting your tongue._

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"Your Lauren aren't you? Lauren Fairhead, Charlie's daughter."

"And I thought I was the only one who you knew who you were." Lauren answered with a soft smile. She brought her knees to her chest and hugged them tightly, wondering how the hell Selena knew that, even Chloe didn't know.

"How did you know it was me?"

"Lucky guess I suppose." Selena answered and sat down beside Lauren, "Are you going to tell me what happened?"

"I was beaten up by my pimp. I didn't earn enough but I did, I just kept some for myself which is against the rules. He beat me up hence the bruises but I know he'll be gunning for me again if I'm not on the streets getting him his money."

"What happened to—"

"Make me this way?" Selena nodded, "My mum died eight months ago. I gave up after that, got in with the wrong crowd. I was at a party and they introduced me to drugs, mainly heroin and I got hooked. I just spiralled out of control ever since."

Selena touched Lauren's arm but she fliched, she wasnt used to people being kind. She bit her lower lip again, drawing blood and she didn't know what to say. She fiddled with her fingers, silence between them again.

"I didn't you know, want to come here. I mean everyone knows me so you know. I don't want my father knowing, he doesn't need to know that I'm here."

Selena sighed softly, "Are you sure that's the right thing?"

Lauren nodded before she took an envelope from her back pocket and a handful of notes wrapped up in elastic. She placed them at the end of the bed and whispered gently; "Can you give that my father, tell him I'm sorry."

"Can't you do that?"

She shook her head, "I wish I could but I can't. My father will kill me if he gets his hands on me. I've put him through eight months worth of hell, he's lost his wife and his daughter in the space of eight months. Why? Because I'm self-destructive, I always have been."

"It's not too late to change."

She laughed out loud and clutched her ribs. Selena looked at her, "You alright?"

"Yeah, the ribs are just a bit tender. I'm going to take a guess and say I've broken some. Isn't the first time, certainly will not be the last."

"There are people you can talk too, people who can help you get off the streets. If you like, I can get you some numbers."

"Thanks but no thanks." Selena nodded and stood up, "You know if you change your mind, you know where I am okay?"

Lauren nodded her head again and lay back down. She closed her eyes and wondered why she didn't accept Selena's offer of getting advice to get off the streets and go home. Selena handed back the envelope and the wad of money notes back to Lauren.

Selena said she'd go and find out Lauren's results and the curtain closed. Lauren knew exactly why she wasn't going to try and escape the life of heroin or prostitution, going cold turkey was torture and she'd end up with a slit throat and buried in a shallow grave if she tried to leave Damian.

/

She's got two stitches in the cut on her forehead, four broken ribs altogether and brusing. They haven't found the cause of her sickness and fainting just yet and Lauren's relieved, it means she can go back to Damian.

"Can I go now?"

Selena nodded knowing there was nothing she could do. She couldn't keep Lauren here against her will even though she knows it'd be much safer. Lauren got off the bed and picked up her jacket. As she pulled it on, she made eye contact with Selena.

"Are you going back to him?"

"I don't have a choice, I'm his best working girl." She answered, "Do you know what he does to his prostitutes when they try and break free? He cuts their throats, leaves them to bleed to death and buries them in a shallow grave. I'd rather work for him thanks."

There's another silence and Lauren wonders if she'll ever come back, "Give this my father won't you?" She hands to Selena the envelope and the money from earlier. Inside is just a note that explains why she's done what she's done and for them to forget about her.

She's better off dead in their minds rather than the whore she's become.

She heads out of the hospital and doesn't look back. It's gone dark and she wraps the jacket around her tighter, the cold air causing goosebumps to appear on her arms and legs. She breathes in the fresh air, closes her eyes and slowly begins to walk towards Damian's.

She's not afraid of what she'll encounter anymore.

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	5. CHAPTER V

**notes** — attempted suicide halfway through, please don't read if you're easily triggered.

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**CHAPTER FIVE**.  
_how do you sleep at night?_

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"Where the fuck have you been?"

It's the first thing he screeches when she walks in. She's not expecting "Hey, how are you?" nothing like that but she didn't expect him to get so worked up. Then again, she'd been gone several hours and it all eats into profit.

"I ended up in hospital." Lauren whispers. The sound of slapped flesh makes Lauren caught her breath and she automatically touches her cheek.

"Why?" She pauses, she's not going to drop her friend in it so she has to lie. And quickly, "I fainted, when I woke up I was in hospital."

Damian pushed her into the wall. He looked into her eyes and began to laugh before slapping again. He often wondered how stupid his whore's thought he was. He had people, people observing, noting, following his whores no matter what.

It was a sign of a good businessman to keep taps on his business.

"You're lying." She shakes her head but he places his hand on her throat. He smirks as she begins to breath erratically, he was really scaring her now. She bit down on her lower lip hard, tasting blood once again and looked deep into his eyes.

"Go on, do it. I'm not scared of you." He laughed and put pressure on her throat until she lost consciousness.

/

When she came round, her whole body ached worse than ever. She guessed the morphine she'd received in hospital had worn off and Lauren sat up. As she glanced around the room, she noticed it look like a struggle had taken place yet she knew this already.

She took a deep breath and stood up, holding onto the wall to support her. She knew he'd be out, undertaking some business with someone, probably selling drugs or another teenage girl. She slowly climbed the stairs, each step sending sharp pains through her body.

She reached the bathroom and locked the door. Leaning over the bath, she put in the plug and began to run the hot tap. Lauren sat on the edge of the bath and knew this was her only way of escaping the life she'd created for herself.

Yes most would view it as the cowards way out but for Lauren it was a lifeline. Being dead was better than selling her body and injecting, smoking poision.

As the bath filled with water, she took out a razor from the medicine cupboard. It wasn't hers, it was one of the other girls but they shared everything. She broke the razor apart to find the blade and placed it on the edge of the bath.

She got into the bath allowing the water to completely submerge her. It was a calming sensation to her and Lauren picked up the razor at the side of her. She stared at it before she dug it into her wrists.

The blood dripped down her arms and into the water, turning the water bright red. She leant her head back, staring at the ceiling waiting for sleep to come to her. This was the end of the nightmare.

"I'm sorry!" She whispered to herself.

/

She doesn't want to die, she just wants to be free.

This, this is the only way to be free. Free from it all. She sees her mother and she'll do anything to touch her. She misses her mother more than anyone could ever imagine. Every child, every girl needed her mother and it hurt Lauren to know she'd never see hers again.

"Lauren it's not your time to go."

"But mum, I can't go on."

"You can, you've got too. Your father needs you, Louis needs you. Please Lauren, you've got to be strong."

"I can't, I can't do it. I can't. You're the only one who can save me and your not here."

"Lauren, I need you to be brave. You're stronger and braver than this. You _have_ to face it, you've got no choice. This is life, it's not easy. It's not your time to go sweetheart, you've got to stay and help your father. Please baby do that for me, I love you."

She's about to say something when an electric current shoots through her body. The image of her mother disappears and it's just darkness once again. Her mother's words ring in her ears, "You've got to be brave."

/

She blinks, coming round from her slumber. The first thing she hears is the heart monitor beeping and she groans. It was obvious from where she was that her suicide attempt had been unsuccessful.

She stares at the ceiling, counting the numerous large square tiles. She bites her lower lip and sits up. As she brings her hand to her face to brush away a strand of brunette hair, she catches sight of the bandage on her wrist.

Lauren sighs, it clearly wasn't a good job she'd done.

"How bad?" She whispers to the Doctor at the end of the bed. She doesn't recognise him so she presumes he's a Junior Doctor. He tells her it was touch and go for a while and she's been here for a couple of hours.

She nods, swallowing hard.

"Do we get a name?" The young male Doctor asks and Lauren shakes her head, "No."

There's a pause and she touches her bandages at the wrist. They're covered in a little bit of blood and she wonders who saved her and why. Surely it was better to let scum like her die, especially as they didn't appreciate life.

"It's important we get your name, find out your medical—"

She cuts him off abruptly, "I need to talk to Doctor Donovan, Selena Donovan asap."

The male Doctor sighed and placed the notes at the end of the bed. He took one look at his patient, left Resus and walked towards cubicles wondering how she knew Selena and why she needed to see her.

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	6. CHAPTER VI

ϟ

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**CHAPTER SIX.**  
_goodbye my lover._

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"Selena, a patient of mine's asking for you."

"Do you know why?" Selena asked Guppy. He just shrugged his shoulders, he didn't know why but began to tell her about his patient;

"Young female, no ID, attempted suicide. She's conscious but covered in fresh bruises suggesting she was badly beaten, a couple of broken ribs too."

"I'll come and see her after I've dealt with this patient, okay?"

Guppy nodded and made his way back to Resus. His patient was sat up, reading her notes, biting her lower lip. She looked up when she heard the doors to the Resus close and her eyes fell upon Guppy. There was nothing spoken for a minute as she put down the notes.

"Five minute obs, is that so I don't do something stupid?"

Guppy didn't answer her, he didn't know what to say. He knew there was something about her, something strange. She took his silence as a que to carry on talking and continued, "I know this hospital better than you do, I've been here long enough."

"Regular visitor?"

"You could say that yeah." There was another pause, "Did you find Doctor Donovan?"

"Yes I did, she said she'll be here once she's dealt with a patient." He edged towards the bed, "Can I just ask what's so special about Doctor Donovan? I mean, usually people request to see Mr Harper."

She smiled, "Doctor Donovan knows me. She can tell you all about me. Name, medical history that sort of thing. But I'm not telling you until I hear from her. When can I be moved from here? I don't like this room."

"You'll be moved once a bed in cubicles becomes free."

"How long will that take?"

"Depends how quick they're treated." Lauren nodded and watched as Guppy headed over to another patient. As he wrote something on his notes and left, curiousity got the better of Lauren. Removing the wires she was hooked up too, she walked over to the patient.

The patient was male and asleep, as well as hooked on an ECG. She looked at the results and studied them carefully. She was that deep in thought that she didn't hear the doors of Resus open and Guppy come back.

"What an earth do you think you're doing?"

She turned around and answered; "Doctor Whoever, look at your patient's ECG." Guppy walked towards her and took the results of her.

"Yes?"

"I think he's suffering from AF — Atrial Fibrillation. Can you see that the QT interval is shortened? Not to mention it looks like he's got ST depression and look between V5 and V6, it's showing a reverse tick appearance, can you see it?"

Guppy looked down at the results and saw everything Lauren was saying. He looked at her curiously as she got back into bed and hooked herself back up to the monitor. Now he was curious to know who she was.

"How did you know?"

She shrugged her shoulders and didn't reveal where she'd found it from, "Lucky guess."

"But not many people can spot that in an ECG, not even SHO's." He looked back at the ECG and wondered how an ordinary teenage girl knew so much about Medicine. The doors to Resus opened and Selena walked in. She walked towards Guppy,

"You okay?"

"Yeah mm, this patient seems to have an AF, you see there, he has a reverse tick."

Selena took the ECG results of Guppy and nodded. He was right, there seemed to be a reverse tick on the reading. She smiled and said gently,

"Well done, not many SHO's can spot a reverse tick."

Guppy nodded, "I didn't, she did." He nodded to Lauren who was sat staring into space. Selena asked if she was the one who wanted to see her and Guppy said she was. He said he didn't understand how she could've known that the patient was suffering AF.

Selena walked towards the bed, "You wanted to see me?"

She made eye contact with Selena and Selena realised who the patient was, " Did you mean what you said earlier, about being able to help?"

Selena nodded at Lauren before sitting down, "I can give you some contact details for people who deal with this kind of stuff, addiction and prostitution."

She touched Lauren's wrist gently, "What did you do?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

"Why?"

There was a pause, she wasn't used to been interrogated about her behaviour. She looked around the room before she answered;

"I believed it was the only way I could be free. Completely free, not looking over my shoulder wondering if he was following me."

Lauren snatched her hand away before she whispered; "Can you ring my father for me, I'd like to see him now." She nodded and stood up. As Selena left Resus, she was glad she'd gained her trust. Lauren was going to speak to her father and that meant a lot.

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	7. CHAPTER VII

ϟ

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**CHAPTER SEVEN**.  
_i don't wanna ever sing this song again._

* * *

She's tossing and turning unable to sleep, her mind playing tricks on her making her too scared to sleep. It's not late, definitely not when Lauren would sleep but she's exhausted, she's had a busy day.

She takes the pillow and the blanket and creeps out of her cubicle. It's easily done and nobody really notices she's gone. It's busy, the usual patients passing through ED's doors, mainly drunk or passed out because they couldn't handle their alcohol intake.

"You haven't seen the patient in cubicle five have you?" Harry asked Jim. Jim shook his head and said he hadn't. Harry sighed. He'd promised Selena he'd keep an eye on Lauren, making sure she didn't do anything stupid and now it seemed he'd lost her.

He walked towards reception, glancing around to see if he could spot her. He spotted Sam and asked; "Sam, you haven't seen a patient have you? Five foot five, brown hair, looks like she's been in a fight?"

Sam shook his head and Harry sighed deeply. He was about to walk away when he heard a crashing sound come from inside Charlie's office. He walked towards the door, put his hand on the door handle and opened the door.

He stepped into darkness before he found the light switch. As the lights turned on he heard a familar voice;

"Do you mind, I'm trying to sleep!"

Underneath Charlie's desk was Lauren, her head on a pillow and wrapped up in a blanket. Harry closed the door and walked towards her,

"What are you doing under there?" He sat down near her, his back leaning against the desk.

"Well it's obvious isn't it? Why else would someone have a pillow and a blanket?" She smiled indicating she was only joking and she didn't mean to be completely sarcastic to him. Harry smiled and shook his head,

"We'll have less of the sarcasm."

There was a silence and Lauren sucked the tip of her thumb, "When I was young, I couldn't sleep without a hug from both of my parents. Whoever was looking after me, would bring me to see the other. I'd always fall asleep underneath the desk, teddy bear in one hand, sucking the thumb of my other hand."

She sighed and Harry brushed a strand of hair away from her face, "Sometimes when I'm missing my mother, I sleep underneath the desk, sucking my thumb. I guess you could say its comfort, knowing I've gone back to my childhood."

Harry smiled softly. Lauren was a good kid, very intelligent with a bright future ahead, "What are we going to do with you, ey?"

Lauren shrugged her shoulders, she didn't know what she was going to do, "I'm sorry Harry for everything, I didn't mean to—"

He touched her cheek and shook his head. He brushed away a tear that rolled down her cheek and told her they'd deal with it in the morning. Her father would be back in the UK by then along with her younger brother.

She smiled and snuggled further into the blanket. Harry stood by the door, staring at the fragile young girl. She reminded him so much of Tally, almost too delicate, trying her hardest to hold on when things fell apart.

"Night Lauren."

"Night Harry." The light went out, the door closed and Lauren closed her eyes.

/

She'd fallen alseep under the desk but had ended up back in cubicle five. She was in the same position she'd always slept, one hand under her pillow, the other across her chest. Her hair covered the pillow and she always slept with one leg out of the duvet because she got too hot.

She woke to someone holding her hand and she pulled her hand away. Slowly, she came round to find her father sat down beside her. He looked worried and Lauren felt guilty, he'd lost his wife and now he'd lost his daughter too.

"Dad?" She smiled softly, "Where's Louis?"

"Tess is looking after him." She nodded slowly before Charlie took his daughter's hand in his again. There was nothing spoken and Lauren just thought about how nice it was to have someone, her father holding her hand.

"Lauren," He paused and swallowed hard, "I thought—I thought I'd lost you."

She shook her head, a lump forming in her own throat. Her eyes pricked with tears and she squeezed her father's hand tightly, "I'm sorry. I—After mum died, I didn't know what to do. I just, I met some people and look what happened. I end up being a smackhead and a whore."

Charlie sighed, "I'm sorry Lauren."

"What for?"

"Not being there for you." He kissed the top of her head and she buried her head into her father's chest. She didn't blame him, it wasn't his fault his daughter went off the rails. This was Lauren's fault. She didn't know how to deal with her emotions.

"Dad?" She looked up, making eye contact with Charlie. Charlie nodded, "Yes?"

There's a pause, Lauren swallows hard and whispers; "Will you help me get better?"

Charlie nodded and pulled his daughter closer. From now on he was going to put his children first, they'd been through enough. Lauren closed her eyes, safe in her father's embrace and realised she'd always be free if she had her family.

Family was the most important thing ever.

* * *

**jottings** — if you like it enough to favourite, please leave a review:3

done, finished. i hope you all enjoyed it, it's set somewhere during series 19, i haven't decided where yet. thank you to everyone who decided to favourite/alert, it's the reason this story's been finished as soon as it has.


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